I’ve been playing with the concept of “sacred rage” and my comfort with it. And how I’ve played a part in the co-dependency of people on me that I’ve created - and how I resent sometimes that I’m always (in my mind of course) “the thoughtful one” who considered their feelings and energy before I made an ask.
This is so good Vanessa - you’re speaking about real stuff that makes us think - and in a quick yet potent way. Thank you for bringing us into your mind and heart.
Yes, that is our number one argument, why am I always the default...I have made some progress by trusting my husband -allowing him to organise our holiday with minimal me input, letting him organise my kids' parties and just trying to hold up the sign that says 'Go, you can do this'..has been liberating...uncomfortable as well...as he will never do it exactly like me..and being ok with that
Why am I always the default!!!!!! But yes, you are so right to point out that if we want to not always be the default we also can’t micromanage and criticize others when they take the lead. Thanks for sharing your ideas here.
Oh how I swoop in when things are about to be dropped 😅 it’s like playing a game of what’s worse: letting the shoe drop and having it affect me or being irritated/handling it and having it affect me. Oy!
Yes to all of this. Great reframes. Reminded me that anger is an opportunity to understand and voice our boundaries vs. permission to lash tf out lol. And the funny thing about training those we love to see us as their 24/7 fixer upper is they never get to experience the full range of their capabilities. Great voicenote boo!
I’ve been playing with the concept of “sacred rage” and my comfort with it. And how I’ve played a part in the co-dependency of people on me that I’ve created - and how I resent sometimes that I’m always (in my mind of course) “the thoughtful one” who considered their feelings and energy before I made an ask.
This is so good Vanessa - you’re speaking about real stuff that makes us think - and in a quick yet potent way. Thank you for bringing us into your mind and heart.
sacred rage! yes!!
Yes, that is our number one argument, why am I always the default...I have made some progress by trusting my husband -allowing him to organise our holiday with minimal me input, letting him organise my kids' parties and just trying to hold up the sign that says 'Go, you can do this'..has been liberating...uncomfortable as well...as he will never do it exactly like me..and being ok with that
Why am I always the default!!!!!! But yes, you are so right to point out that if we want to not always be the default we also can’t micromanage and criticize others when they take the lead. Thanks for sharing your ideas here.
Oh how I swoop in when things are about to be dropped 😅 it’s like playing a game of what’s worse: letting the shoe drop and having it affect me or being irritated/handling it and having it affect me. Oy!
So true!!! It’s definitely been work building my tolerance for letting the shoes drop all around me into a hot mess.
Ha. My Mom (a bit witty) would say when being the default caregiver problem solver… “Sure, let the little red hen do it for you!”… https://www.memoriapress.com/curriculum/read-alouds/the-little-red-hen/#:~:text=The%20Little%20Red%20Hen%20by%20Paul%20Galdone%20is%20a%20classic,we%20reap%20what%20we%20sow.
Oh my goodness I remember the little red hen!
So relatable! 🤍
♥️♥️♥️
Yes to all of this. Great reframes. Reminded me that anger is an opportunity to understand and voice our boundaries vs. permission to lash tf out lol. And the funny thing about training those we love to see us as their 24/7 fixer upper is they never get to experience the full range of their capabilities. Great voicenote boo!
Anger is an opportunity to understand and voice our boundaries YESSSSS!