I moved a chair. Then a rug. Then the entire room. I thought I was just rearranging my office, but it ended up rearranging me. It’s funny how some of the biggest realizations come from the most unexpected places.
PS: This was my very first Voicenote I recorded back in January (hence the mention of the LA fires). I keep coming back to it, so I wanted to share it with you.
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In Case You Missed It:
Voicenote #1: It’s 10PM, Do You Know Where Your Children Are?
Voicenote #4: I Was SO Tempted To Throw My Kids Off The Boat
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Transcript: Confessions Of A Serial Furniture Rearranger
I made a decision to totally rearrange the furniture in my office today.
I had this urge after rearranging my kids' rooms. We got rid of so much stuff—I mean, bags and bags and bags of stuff. Cleaned out every drawer, reorganized the closets. It felt so good.
For any of you who are really into decluttering, the Marie Kondo method, I'm super into it too. My adorable daughter knows it's "KonMari." I mean, she's 12, but she'll ask me to "calamari" her room. That's our code name for it. She’ll say, “Mom, can we call calamari my room today?” And so we did that, and it felt amazing. I thought, “Yes, let me do that to my space also.”
So I not only decluttered with my daughter, but we actually rearranged her furniture. And I think I've underestimated the mental health lift one can receive from rearranging furniture.
It's this interesting dynamic where we have stagnancy in our physical world, and then stagnancy in our mental world. And just the simple act of rearranging furniture—looking at a space anew, how we inhabit it, giving us a fresh perspective, making it feel fresh and good—is a pretty powerful act.
So if you're feeling really stuck, maybe try rearranging your furniture as a method to shift something. This is certainly not scientific or medical advice. This is just, “Hey, I tried this, and it worked for me, and maybe it can work for you.”
I do think that sometimes when we're stuck, we get really fixated on the "why." I know I do this, where I think, “Why am I stuck? What's wrong with me? Why can't I have energy?”
And instead of focusing on the why, maybe we just focus on the what. What can we do to pop us out of this feeling of stuckness or stagnancy?
And I don't know—maybe rearrange some furniture. Or clear out a drawer. Or rearrange your closet. That’s worked really well for me.
Sometimes the why does matter. Ultimately, I think it's helpful to reflect on. But especially for people like me, who think a lot and reflect on things a lot—in the moment, sometimes the why isn't as helpful as the what. What can I do to snap myself out of this?
Another thing about my office—I'm super lucky to have my own room that's just mine. Unlike the rest of the house that I share with my husband and my five kids, my office is my own.
And so I make all of my own decisions in my office. I decide what books are in there, what objects are in there, and exactly how things are set up. It's kind of like my she-cave.
And I highly recommend creating a spot. Now, if you're really lucky like me and have a room that’s an office, set it up just the way you want it—with only the things that delight you, and just what you like.
If you don’t have a bigger space like that, maybe it’s just a corner of your closet or a little altar in your room. But I think the physical environment we create for ourselves, and the way that we enjoy things, is really important to our daily life.
The moment I realized this was when I was at a friend's house. She’s got kids, was married, but had recently become divorced and set up her own apartment for herself and her kids.
I walked into her bedroom, and it was totally different than the way I would have set it up—but it was exactly her. It was really bohemian. It had a lot of beautiful, pink, ruffly fabrics. There was so much texture. It was almost like the best version of shabby chic you've ever seen.
And not a bedroom that a man could possibly inhabit, which was interesting, because I thought about my bedroom. It’s shared with my husband, which is great. I love my husband. He’s the best.
But I actually thought, “If this was only my space—only mine—how would I set it up?”
Yeah. And it would probably be a little bit different than the way it’s set up. Which, again, is fine. I do share it with him, and I love the fact that we both love the room and it works for both of us.
But having a space that’s only for you, that’s based only on your preferences—only the things that you enjoy—setting up your little she-cave or she-corner, I think, is super, super important.
I’ve been struck recently—especially in light of the fires in LA—by how people were saying, “You know, stuff is just stuff. It’s not the most important thing.”
And first of all, I don’t agree with that.
To say to someone who’s just lost all of their earthly possessions that “stuff is just stuff” is just cruel, and such a denial of people’s right to be devastated. To grieve their loss. Even if they’ve escaped with their lives and their health.
There’s no conflict between being grateful for being healthy and alive, and being in tremendous grief and suffering and loss over having lost your home.
So I thought about this idea of “stuff is just stuff.” And it’s not. The things we choose to surround ourselves with—they’re all decisions and choices. And they impact how we live.
What we choose to keep. What we choose to discard.
And so I would just close today with this idea:
This really intentional curation of the stuff around you. Of decluttering and clearing things out. Of setting up even the furniture in a way that supports you best. Choosing the objects, the books, the items in your life.
I think there’s a way to really take care and be intentional about that stuff that helps you feel much better. Helps you feel joyful, light, and supported.
So I hope that today is an inspiration—if you’re stuck, to get unstuck.
And if you haven’t carved out a spot for yourself, do so.
Thank you so much for listening. It’s been great to be with you.
Bye, friend.
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